Now for something completely different

Soccer. I'm not a fan.

Or at least I won't be until FIFA:

1. bans goalkeepers; and

2. allows the referee to banish whingers from the pitch.

That said, I was in a pub packed with dribblers when the Socceroos gained entry - for the first time since 1974 - to the world cup.

Oh, the delirium.

Then yesterday, news emerged that we - yes 'we', I'm as keen as the next yobbo for Kewell and Viduka to kick bottom on the verdant pastures of the Aryan motherland - had been drawn to play in the same world cup pool as Brazil.

The undertone throughout last night's SBS World Sports (95% soccer, 4% Gaelic football, 1% other sport) Show was, 'oh, the injustice'.

My two-word response? Random draw.

And anyhow, if we want to win the damn cup, we have to defeat Brazil at some stage. So we may as well get down to it and boot Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Ronaldo McDonaldinho back to Florianapolis from the tournament getgo.

Also joining the Socceroos in Group F are Eddie Jones's new home of Japan, and 1998 world cup semi-finalists Croatia.

The Croatian media has taken to calling the Socceroos the 'Croatia B' team.