Reds under the bed

Australia's two largest states by area, Queensland and Western Australia, are fun, sunny kingdoms.

Parochial too.

So much so that as a former banana-bender I've had barneys with native sandgropers over which state is the most partisan. "WA is the most parochial!" claims the sandgroper. "Au contraire, es Queenland!" says I.

That notwithstanding, when visiting a Westralian hamlet for the first time, I always find the following endears me to the locals:

First, I stretch my arms out in an arc parallel to the horizon, as if to embrace the sandy landscape.

Then, I thrust my chin skyward and take a swig of dry western air.

Next - and this is the jooshy bit - I proclaim to anyone within earshot: "One day soon, all this will be known as Western ... Queensland."