Fussbudget

Pounce de Lion is a wonderful whuss of a puss. But my, she's adopted some fussy ways while her mum has been home on holidays.

The finicky feline turned her nose up at some perfectly good adult cat food last night, which inspired Hazel to muse if we should return the mollycoddled moggy to the more easily digestable pussy pâté to which we'd let her grow accustomed over the past 2 weeks.

When I suggested puss was merely trying it on and that The Burp, who gave us the pampered puffball for Christmas, had advised me that even an exclusive diet of cat biscuits would suffice, Hazel called me a liar.

'Why is it,' I protested, 'that when I relay counsel from someone you respect, and that advice happens to diverge from your own vile viewpoint, you shoot poor messenger me?'

I fully expect to arrive home this afternoon to a pantry crammed with kitten caviar.